Cancer Sucks

A couple of doc appointments today.  All went well and I am cleared for radiation therapy.  I know I am a blessed individual.  To be so terrified last month and totally at ease today, that is a true blessing from God.  I am also blessed by all my prayer warriors.  So many were praying for my health.  I am overwhelmed with that feeling of being surrounded with love.  It brings me so much peace. I'm hoping radiation therapy will begin soon.  I see the light at the end of the tunnel.  The chemo anti-hormone pill after radiation will be part of my new normal.  I am released to go back to work on Monday.   Praising God from whom all blessings flow...

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!  I am so relieved and elated! The margins from the second surgery are benign and the pathology shows no residual ductal carcinoma in situ as being identified and no invasive ductal carcinoma.  I am cancer free! This does not veer the path set before me.  I will still go through radiation and will be taking the chemo anti-hormone pill for up to a decade. I go back to see the surgeon and will also see the oncologist this week. More to come...

The weekend was good.  I was active.  Out to lunch and a little shopping with my best friend Saturday and Sunday hubby and I went to church, brunch afterward and a bit more shopping.  Of course with activity comes a bit more pain, but I think I tolerated it well.  I can tell the long acting local pain meds have worn off. Late next week brings the follow up doctor visits to surgeon and oncologist.  The surgeon visit I am not so much worried about.  The oncologist visit worries me. This visit maps the future for radiation therapy and the aromatase inhibitor. Radiation therapy is necessary, no doubt.  But, it is also scary. Radiation of the breast will cause thinning of the bone (rib cage).  Radiation of the left breast could cause future heart issues.  The aromatase inhibitor which follows radiation keeps my thyroid from producing hormones.  That will further cause bone thinning and another side effect is it effects cholesterol, causin...

The emotional roller coaster stopped by the station again today.  Of course, I got on. Not that I can help these emotions that run through my crazy mind, but, I'd like to have a day more balanced.  My best friend says I need to talk to my doc about anxiety. I really don't see it as anxiety.  I'm just emotional. Two surgeries within nine days can certainly cause one's emotions to surface.  The long-acting local medication that the doc left inside the area removed from my left breast has worn off. I feel pain now. All the ups and downs of the cancer diagnosis.  The way that some people look at me or say things to me.  All these things combined make me emotional. This morning appeared to be a good day until the emotion hit.  That seems to be the way it happens.  I'm fine until I'm not. That wave hits like a baseball bat hit to the gut and the tears roll.  I'm an emotional person and a soft-hearted soul.  But, this is just too much emoti...

My amazing surgeon and her team were wonderful yesterday. Just before my shot of "joy juice" the sweet nurse anesthetist asked what my dream would be and I said "the beach".  She asked if there were anything else and I said a caramel macchiato.  When I came to in recovery, there a caramel macchiato waiting for me.  The staff at the hospital have all been so amazingly kind to me. The surgery went well, much more tissue removed. And she even grabbed some atypical benign cells that the pathology report from the first surgery found.  I am thankful for her aggressive approach. I'm more tired than I was after the first surgery, and definitely more sore.  Pain is managed well with the long acting tordal/marcaine cocktail injected into the surgical site.  I'll feel much better once I can take the very tight fitting surgical bra off and take a shower in a couple of days. Ah, the little things. :) So, rest, good nutrition and more rest is on my menu as I took a...

...two steps back. Monday (May 6) began well. For the first time after surgery, I showered and dressed myself without assistance.  Little victories are the best! I was feeling proud of myself  for my earlier accomplishments, when the phone rang...a call from Morgantown.  More specific, it was my surgeon.  Pathology results were in from my surgery.  The call brought about a mixed bag of news therefore a mixed of emotion. The cancer in my left breast had not upstaged or proved to be anything other than DCIS, Ductual Carcinoma in Situ.  DCIS is noninvasive, so no worries about metastasis.  However, I need to go back for further tissue removal. The microscope found some atypical cells,benign, but atypical and in another area of the tissue that was excised (really sucked out), did not get enough of a margin.  Being a healthy person who tolerated anesthesia well, she feels it's best to grab those atypical cells and get a better margin.  I agree...

Reasons, there are always reasons.   Purpose is the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.   The Apostle Paul speaking to the Romans said “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28.   That is all things meaning, all things both good and bad; everything. It's difficult when something unpleasant happens that makes us think “Why me?” to actually turn it around and think “Thank you for this blessing.” But, why not take a bad situation and find a positive light? I was six months late in getting my mammogram.   I finally got around to it a couple of months ago.   I usually go in October, the month we “Think Pink”. Life got busy (there was an amazing wedding in October, but that's not an excuse) and I just forgot about it.   I remembered in March, the month that my mother passed away, from breast cancer and several years...